July was a very, very, VERY emotional month for my family. {We lost my Tia Lola to a long time battle with Lung Disease early on in the month....it hasn't been easy....she lived in Detroit....It's been a ride..}
Personally, I have been struggling on a "professional" level. As a young girl it was emphasized that as a woman born to Mexican parents in the United States, the ONLY way I would EVER "make anything of myself" was if I received an education. The fact that you finished High School in my time was a HUGE deal. So, If I could graduate College...I'd be some type of a Hero to my family. The chosen ONE. To progress and bring riches to my family here and abroad. {No joke.}
Having a College degree was glamorized. I thought I would be one of the Sex in the City girls only a bit smarter and hopefully with some morals. {Ha. Don't get me wrong, I am total fan but you know what I mean.} I thought that after 4 years of school I would have the big house, with the fancy car and carry my suitcase in to work every morning, dressed in a different color pant suits every day of the week.
Boy. Was. I. EVER. SO. Wrong.
These days I don't care about what I wear or where I live or drive. I simply want to be happy in the place that I spend 8 hours a day in. And, I want to be assured that after 5 years of college {don't judge} receiving my degree WAS the smart thing to do! I want to be grateful and thankful that I can sit in an air conditioned office every day and love what I do for a living. Know that I matter, no matter what, feel like I make a difference in those people who I come in contact with on a day to day basis.
I've loved my work in the past; I worked at Texas Children's for 7 years and helping the Hispanic community came easy and was very fulfilling. Then I moved on to the Worksource and I had the same experience and was even taken into account by management. Then a "better" opportunity came along and things were amazing. Now, it's not the same... I must move forward and life must go on for me....
But, like many in this economy, I am suffering... and it makes me miserable to know that I am just here. Stuck. Not really making a difference in my community. The way I know I can!
But, you know what? I know who I have and what my heart is filled with!
I have Jesus in my life and joy in my heart!
This month has been difficult but as August begins God is slowly showing me His light and His presence once more in my 30 years....slowly but surely. I keep the Faith.
Just this weekend. Saturday actually as I busily helped my Husband complete his presentation on the DREAM Act {Which by the way went excellent!}..God spoke to me...In my most favorite way...Music.
My absolute favorite station here in Houston is KSBJ. I love it. Love it. Love it.
Here is WHAT God said to me:
"Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's {I am} right there
Even if it's hard to see Him {me}
I promise you that He {I} still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He {I} knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better"~[Mandisa]
Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's {I have} got His {my} hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,"~[Sidewalk Prophets]
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause {I}He made you!
... do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to {My}His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing you do.."~[Steven Curtis Chapman]
"wherever you are--breathe out and breathe in again
And know that life is hard but it's worth the breathing
Oh, listen to me now for love, oh, love is waiting for You just to say
Here come better days
And here come better days
Better days and a better place I know
...wait, oh wait, For grace has found me and shaken up my soul
And grace will follow wherever you will go
Listen to me now for grace, oh grace is calling just for You to say
Green grass and I am laying in the sunlight of You
And the wind is moving through the trees ushering You
And the better days You bring--and better places found"~[Robbie Seay Band]
I loved it. And felt so Blessed.
I know it's difficult right now and I don't see the light....but God is with me..I have grace and peace and YES..better days will come...and they will stay with me forever..in Victory!
Blessed day readers.
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