In another world mi Mama does not become my Mother.....

(An adaptation of a poem by Mae S. )  and an ode to my Mom.

In another world mi Mama,  does not become my Mother..... 

She never meets my father.

They never create the chaos that they lived in 

I don't have my siblings, and I do not exist. 

In another world, my mom never leaves her hometown, instead, she marries the man who would save her from the world she has lived in.

He provides for her abundantly and treats her like a queen. She deserves that. 

She continues to grow within her passions and love of life. 

She goes out, dances and enjoys her friends. 

She becomes a professional and gets to dress up every day and goes to a fancy office. 

She never becomes a housekeeper, who continuously struggles. 

In another world, she ends up having one child who she is able to show up for fully, whole and complete. 

In another world, I do not exist. 

My mother is not my mother and she gets to live her life instead of simply survive. 

Honestly, I am OK with that dream because I have seen her struggles and I know her pain. 

Family and COVID-19 in 2020

 

2020 has not been the easiest year and just as we feel that things will get better, things seem to get worse. The Holidays are among us and to be honest, things seem “off” it’s understandable. I don’t think any of us imagined finishing this year almost in the exact place as we started. We never really had a chance to begin crossing off those goals we planned back in January. I know that it just doesn’t seem right to even start planning for 2021 but let me tell you how we can end the year on a perhaps somewhat promising note.

COVID Safety has been our number one priority this year and the BEST thing we can do as a community is to continue to protect not only our community but more importantly our loved ones, our elderly family members and our children.

 

I know that we are all over our current situation and that we might be tired of hearing the same messages over and over, but the only way we will be able to overcome this pandemic and more importantly make it safely through the end of 2020 and into 2021 as we attempt to create a new norm of celebrations and festivities.

 

Some things you already know but should keep in mind are the following; just some reminders and information for us all to read and share with our family and friends.

Please see below messaging from the Harris County Health Department that we should all keep in mind:

"Do your part and protect your loved ones by wearing a mask, social distancing, washing hands and getting tested simultaneously and consistently. Only when combining the four will we reduce the impact of the virus on you, your family and your community. Doing one or the other will not suffice; these preventive tactics work BETTER TOGETHER." 

As we have all had to start leaving our homes, we should remember the following and more importantly right now during the Holiday break:

• Wear a mask or cloth face covering when in public. Your mask helps protect people around you, and their masks help protect you.

• Social distance by staying at least six feet away from other people. 

• Wash hands often with soap and water. When you cannot wash your hands, use hand sanitizer. 

• Get tested. It’s FREE, safe and confidential and you don’t need insurance or proof of citizenship. 

Visit https://houstonemergency.org/todos-juntos-mejor/ or call 832-393-4220 for information on how to get tested and to schedule an appointment at one of the locations across the city. 

 

Remember that as members of our community we have a responsibility to your own family and friends to keep them safe. The only way we can do this is together…. Because we are…Better Together/Todos Juntos. Mejor!

Testing Information can be found at the following resources:

• The Houston Health Department and agency partners offer free testing sites across the city. 

• Visit HoustonEmergency.org or call 832-393-4220 for information on how to get tested. We have support team members who speak Spanish available.

 • Getting tested at Houston Health Department-affiliated sites is free and does not require proof of residency, citizenship, or insurance.

 • COVID-19 services will not be factored against immigrants in their public charge evaluation.

 • Getting tested empowers you to protect your family, friends and community. 

If you or a loved one tests positive and cannot work, here’s where you can go for help:

o Houston Food Bank offers services for families that have been affected by COVID-19, in addition to the numerous locations in the city that distribute food, produce and prepared meals. The Houston Food Bank employs certified navigators who assist with SNAP applications, utility assistance and rental assistance. 

 o Lone Star Legal Aid can assist with COVID-19-related eviction and foreclosure information, unemployment compensation, public benefits and domestic violence situations.  

o  211 Texas/United Way HELPLINE is a free helpline operated in many languages 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by United Way of Greater Houston.  Trained specialists provide information and referrals from a range of social service organizations.

 

BEST PRACTICES FOR WHEN YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW TEST POSITIVE:

• If you or a family member has tested positive, it is vitally important that you work with the Houston Health Department to contact trace anyone with whom you’ve been in contact.

• Contact tracing is easy to do. Making a choice to work with contact tracers helps protect your family and your community by slowing the spread of COVID-19.

 • If you test positive for COVID-19, a contact tracer from your local health department will contact you by phone, email or text message. There may be resources available to help you during the period of isolation (i.e., help you find a free place to stay and self-isolate).

 • The contact tracer will check in on your health, discuss with whom you’ve been in close contact and ask you to stay at home to self-isolate.

 • The contact tracer then contacts the people with whom you had close contact to ask if they have symptoms and offer guidance about testing and quarantine.

• Unless you give permission, your name will not be given to those you identify as close contacts.

• Information gathered through contact tracing is not used for any other purpose.

 • It’s important to be forthcoming with the contact tracer, as the information is vital to stopping the spread of the disease.

 • Contact tracers will never ask for your citizenship status, social security number, bank account information or credit card number. 

• Your Information is Safe o No one from the Houston Health Department will ever ask you about your citizenship or immigration status. 

o COVID-19 testing does not affect Green Card status or application for a permanent residency card. Undocumented individuals will not be deported if they test positive.

 VISIT THE FOLLOWING SITES FOR ALL THE MOST UP TO DATE INFORMATION: 

• https://houstonemergency.org/todos-juntos-mejor/  

• https://houstonemergency.org/covid-19-testing/

• https://www.houstontx.gov/health/ 

 #Coronavirus #TodosJuntosMejor #SaludPublica #BetterTogether  #ad  #sponsored 

 

Self, a Journey of Love

First off. 

I am HUMAN. 

I remind people of my lack and humanity daily. Not because I am not strong and confident but because I am not a superhuman, I make mistakes and I have flaws. 

With that disclaimer. Which yes I know, shouldn't be needed. I will say this about self-love. When I left my marriage almost 2 years ago. I made the decision based on me. Selfish? Sure. Was it needed? Yes. I turn 39 in June, and it took me almost 37 years to realize that for so many years I had poured myself into my family, friends, and everyone around me without focusing on me and what I needed and wanted. I still focus on others but at a different level and in a much more conscious way.

I "pour myself" into those who truly deserve my energy in a more purposeful, evolved, and mature manner. Mostly, my kids and immediate family. BUT, I am human and sometimes I forget why I did what I did. And, then I accomplish certain goals and I am reminded of my true purpose and courage. All of this to me has been the beginning of my self-love journey. 

A journey that constantly allows for growth and flexibility and changes over time, sometimes daily. I take care of me in different ways than others do. What fills my heart and my self-love cup looks VERY different from what fills everyone else's cup. Which is totally normal. 

It's not easy but my constant reminder is that I don't want to fail myself or my kids, but that I am allowed to fail and move forward. If that makes any sense, at all. But, it should if you are on the same love-life-purpose journey as I am. 

Like many I sometimes forget to be compassionate or patient towards myself. I also tend to lack self-belief when things don't go my way. BUT, what have I done to help heal from all this? Number one I push forward. I have my bad days, feel down, cry and vent, but then I MOVE and push forward! 

It's not an easy road, my support system extends from my immediate family and friends to therapist. I have been working with some great therapists, spiritual guides, chakra healers, and several women who are going through the same stage in life as I am. Building this group of support has been vital. 

Other women often ask me, how I do it all? Well, I have a couple meltdowns a day, I remind myself constantly of my goals and purpose and that I have made it this far and can keep going.   It's a process and not as easy as it may seem. You have good, happy, positive days and bad, cry your face out, and have a drink kind of days. 

It's not an easy road to finding and loving yourself, but it's a great journey of love, that's totally worth it. 

The purpose of this journey has taught me to stand firm in my truth, to always speak my truth, and to constantly seek my true and authentic self and voice to be able to heal and grow as a whole. This journey has come with pain, tears and sadness but I am learning daily how to overcome these feelings while also feeling them deeply and learning from why I am experiencing them. 

A Letter to ::Wonder Woman::

I saw this illustration and it struck a chord....

As Women, we often fight so many battles, sometimes on our own, in complete silence, hidden away from the world....daily, hourly, minute by minute.

For me lately, they've been more internal than not. My brain never shuts off and my heart feels it.

Those battles, I feel, are the ones that cause the most bruising. We fight ourselves, beat ourselves up so hard about everything, even after it's been said and done, so much so that some of us feel we have to stay in fight mode.

Truth is we don't.

Being a Wonder Woman shouldn't cause so much pain.

The battle wounds shouldn't cut that deep... but they do.

Sometimes regardless of how well we think we hide the bruises and scars, people know.

People who know you can see them. They are more than visible, they are you.

The agonizing pain buried deep in your soul, the wiped away tears, the self-crushing doubt and attempts to cry out for help. We can see it in your eyes, your appearance, your energy.

In the end...

It's how you choose to recover that means the most.

It's how you move forward that helps us heal.

Knowing that you are not alone sometimes helps.

Knowing and allowing others to help is not a bad thing.

So....

Dear Wonder Woman,

Let down your guard, release the fight mode and heal.

It's time.

Allow space for love and joy, know that you are worthy. You are deserving.

Yes, you are a Wonder Woman who is loved and no longer has to hide the hurt or the scars and bruises of this life.

You are not alone.

It's time.

To continue to love yourself, be proud of it and move on.

It's time. 

To let go. To live your life. And, be yourself.

Be the Wonder Woman that you are but know that your tribe is here for you and you can do this.

You are not perfect and that's OKAY.

It's time. 

Love always,

Wonder Woman

You Can't Always be a Super Boss Bitch who does Epic Shit.....

Or can you? 

It's all about direction, intent, and timing. 

I recently had a big fail. I have helped lead a group of local women called Houston Latina Bloggers for some time now. I thought that creating a conference was the next big step. So for a few months, we've been planning, preparing, strategizing, and moving forward. Or so I thought..... 

The idea came about to try and help us celebrate our groups 5th anniversary, we also received recognition from the City of Houston. Clearly, this was the next big step, right? 

Well. Flash forward to today and what I have going on. Amid divorce and co-parenting alone in the last year, which brought along a plethora of changes and moves and well just everyday life to deal with. A month ago or so, I was presented with the opportunity to leave my position of 4 plus years from Oil and Gas and return to something that for me was much like coming home. A non-profit in my neighborhood, Northside Houston. 

It's 2 weeks before the conference is supposed to happen and I have a meltdown, an overwhelming feeling of "I can't". My kids and their Dad's schedule takes precedence over anything and everything because well, at the end of the day even though we don't all live in the same place, we are a team. I am also trying to acclimate and establish my new position within a new company. Trying to manage events outside of my already obligated work and family responsibilities just weren't sitting well with me. So, I have since canceled the event. It's hard. Something that I thought about a lot. I was letting myself down and my community of content creators.  

But, then as I attended some work meetings and had the realization of how temporary every job is, a new rush of ideas and energy has overcome me. 

As much as I like to think that I can constantly be on the move, it just doesn't work that way, at least not all the time. Because in the last year and a half there have been many times when I don't even want to get out of bed. When I would walk into work and tears just wouldn't stop rolling down my cheeks. When my mind can't seem to focus on the infinite pile of tasks I have to get done. When my heart is aching so much that I truly question my decisions and I wondered how much I've screwed my life up. Days when I ask myself "Connie, why did you do this to yourself, to your family, to your kids?" 

On those days I question the mere existence of my "badassery" and my ability to do epic shit in my life.

And, you know what despite, how much I do, create and write, I have the right to stay in bed, cry at my desk and allow myself to feel the doubt that has filled every corner of my life these days.

You guys, I'm human.

Last year for about 6 months I fully questioned my life and everything that I was doing with it, and at the age of 37 made some pretty BIG decisions that impacted my entire family. For months we dealt with it, in silence and alone. I have since dealt with the shame, the doubt and the pain both somewhat openly and in private. People will never see the days when my whole body is limp and I have no desire to prove my purpose or passion or worth to anyone under any circumstance. Yes, that serious. 

TRUTH IS. As Lizzo would attest, TRUTH REALLY DOES HURT. And, we are so scared to look at our truth and reality and realize that this is it. This is who we are, where we are and what we are. And, that sometimes we have to put shit down, let it go and move on. Even if that means that you can't always do epic shit and be the Boss Bitch that you know you are. 

Truth is, it's like that sometimes. We just have to walk away and allow things to fall apart, eventually, they will grow again. TRUST. Trust the process. It takes time. Some times a lot of time. It takes grace and self-awareness. It's hard. BUT, it will eventually be worth it. 

Trust me. I have lived in it, some days sadly wallowed in it, for over a year and a half now. It is not easy to walk away from something thinking that you maybe could have pulled it off, but your peace of mind, health and sanity do come first. Not making excuses but sometimes, a huge step back and rest is much needed. 

Things do and will fall back into place..... 

Some things you should know about being alone......

When it comes to your divorce, single-life or separation. 

Don’t let others tell you what to do. Truth is. It’s your timeline. Whether those giving you "advice" have been there or not. That’s none of their business. I’m not saying shut people out and don’t take good advice, no... what I am saying is listen. Take it in. And, say thank you. But, know that this is YOUR journey. These people don’t know what that means or where it will lead you.

Trust me I’ve heard it all (from both my female and male friends):

Stay Single as long as you can

Be alone and take it all in

Don’t date right away

Cry about it, let it out

Don’t cry, be strong

Don’t go back to your Ex

You should think about it and reconsider going back to your Ex

Don’t drink too much

Go to church, stay close to God

Girl, live your best life

I could go on and on....

Trust me, and I’m sure you’ve heard it all too. The truth is we are human. Some humans need other humans. Some humans need to cry and drink to get things out of their system. When people because, both men and women have approached me at this point ask about “relationship” advice, as if I’m an expert. I laugh at myself. No, I’m not an expert. But, I am a human living a very unique experience. My first “breakup” in my whole entire adult life. It’s been a ride that’s for sure. And, while I don’t like to tell people what to do or give too much advice, I don’t mind sharing what’s worked for me during these times. Know that even if leaving someone was your choice it’s still hard.

For me. I started with therapy. I went and continue to seek professional help when and if I need it. It truly, truly helps. Having someone on the “outside looking in” telling me that my actions and thoughts are rational and normal has made me feel more at peace with my decisions.

It’s not easy.

Something else that’s helped, has been LOTS of fun girl nights out! And, a few times I have ended up going out alone and still having lots of fun! And yes, I drink, this has to be taken in and analyzed often during this time; there is a fine line between it being fun and social to it being a true problem. During those times, I’ve stepped back and tried to truly think about why I’m doing it and how much control I have over it. Which has been total control, thankfully. But know that drinking truly solves nothing. Not even pain or brokenness. Sometimes it makes it worse. So be cautious. 

So just be safe and make sure this isn’t a problem. If it is, seek help.

Another thing has been words. Of course. I’m a writer. Being able to express myself with words during this time has been vital. About 8-9 months after it had all started and I was finally able to talk about my separation and now divorce I felt that a big weight was lifted. If you follow me on IG I also post about it there a LOT. Sometimes in my feed with long, long captions and others through memes on my stories. Sad. Angry. Confused. Happy. Funny. Sarcasm. It all comes out. 

If you know me you know I love music. Every song, it’s lyrics, the words they pierce almost though every single one of my emotions. It’s insane. I love music. I’ve gone to a lot of concerts this year and listen to a lot of music every day! I also have the ultimate female empowerment break up playlist. It’s amazing, check it out for yourself. —->> LINK HERE

And then, that dreaded “alone time”. I had my first ever solo road-trip back in April to Austin. It was an amazing experience. In September I went to San Diego alone which was an even more amazing experience. And, recently I took myself to the beach on a Sunday afternoon when I didn’t have my kids. Which is where I wrote this blog post. So alone time HELPS. Yes. Church wise. I’ve not gone to mass in a long time. It requires me to be in a clear open focused state of mind, which has been a little hard these days. But, I go to a chapel during lunch. That chapel has seen me sob my face out, like horrible snot nose dripping face where I’ve had to take my cardigan off and just wipe my whole face. It’s not pretty but necessary. Always necessary. Pick a quiet place where you can sit and be alone it will help you.

One HUGE factor has been having others to talk to about it, people who will not be judgmental and who are open and willing to hear about your situation. Someone who is willing to listen to all your drama and can help you walk through solutions or help you organize your thoughts. Usually, these people have been through or are also going through a breakup, separation, divorce. So, that always helps. Having other people “on your side” can be helpful.

Again, I’m not an expert. Or a therapist. I’m simply a single momma, now co-parenting who is living through this experience, one day at a time. Building strength, courage and continuous ways to help others and make their transitions as easy as I can by sharing what I’ve gone through and how I have overcome all the stages. Each one is SO different. And again. Everyone is different with very specific and unique experiences so none of this may work for you or all of it might work for you.

Take what you need.

What am I going to tell my Son about love.....

I wrote about what I want my daughter to know about love immediately people asked me about my son. I wrote hers first because she’s constantly asking me about what’s going on with my relationship with her Dad, why I’m not coming back home to live with them and what’s going to happen from now on. But of course, I have my son on my mind too and had to think about it a little bit more because hers came very natural to me. But, here it is what I want my son to know about love.....

I want him to know that he too should learn to love himself first. To be focused on who he wants to become. But, not overly selfish that he misses out on a good partner. That he should learn to be independent and self-sufficient just as much as his Sister. That he doesn’t need a woman/partner to validate who he is or his masculinity. That he can be whole and complete all on his own but to remain sensitive and honest about his feelings. To know that while being strong and free he can also find someone who can help compliment his strengths and self-worth but that he shouldn’t feel he needs someone to become these things. That he shouldn’t allow women to step all over him or crush his soul but that he also shouldn’t do the same to them. That he should be upfront with himself in what he really needs and wants in a partner before he commits in any relationship. I want him to know that I love him and always will. That he’s been my rock for so many years, that because of his love in my heart, I have overcome many difficult days. I want him to know that he’s allowed to cry and be sad over the loss of a love but that he shouldn’t allow it to consume him. That he is strong and capable of so much, that he can be his lovey-dovey self with his big mushy teddy bear heart but to know that without self-love, he can get lost in something that isn’t worthy of him.

He should know that he should look for mutual respect and support. That love is great when both people give each other space and time to grow. That being a provider is great but true support comes in actions, and that being emotionally and mentally supportive is necessary. That love is creating a partnership where both people have their needs met, and that love is what we make of it. The effort and actions that we put in motion more than all the words we can speak. When he loves someone he will need that person to be as strong, independent and as self-sufficient as him. You can't be whole if you don't know who you are. Being supportive is not just about being there for the thoughts and ideas, you need to help around the house, help with your children, be just as involved as your partner is at all levels. Be proactive. Be as motivated, inspired and as energetic as your partner. If that's not there then something will always be missing or lacking. You can learn to be with someone but if it's not naturally in you, you will lose.

Feeling loved is about feeling free and not feeling as if who you are, what you do, or what you say will offend, hurt or disrespect your partner. You should be free to be you and be accepted as such.

Plus he has this Sister who reminds him constantly of how a lady should be treated.....

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love.....

What am I going to tell my Daughter about love now that I have "failed" at it? 

Sometimes I think back at the last year and just wish that I had that one piece of advice from my mom that would answer all my questions. It still hasn’t come. And, I’m not sure it ever will. And, it’s ok. But, I need to ask myself what I’m going to tell my daughter about love and relationships, marriage, self-love, growing-up and being your own lunch date.

I want her to know that her true love should be herself. That she should love and accept herself above all else. She shouldn’t expect anybody or "someone" to fill those gaps or those empty spaces. She should want to be her own lunch date every day. She should grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally every day on her own. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval or to approve of her. She should know that love is great but only when you know that it should be mutual, supportive and freeing. 

She doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to come and save her, she should have already saved herself. She should be brave and strong and know that sometimes love isn't immediate or automatic. She should be patient but know when to move on and move forward. Love, as much as you'd like it to be, isn't easy, it’s a complicated feeling and not everybody will be able to see her true value and worth. I don’t want her to look for love or think that she has to wait for it I want her to go about her life and know that love will find her.  When the time is right.... 

I want her to be independent and her own person. Much like she is now. I want her to be herself. Never having to worry about or having to apologize for who she is. Always embracing her unique features and ways, her beauty and her intelligence. Always being herself no matter how "extra" and out there she is, she is who she is, and no one can change her. 

I want her to know that love can change and evolve. I want her to know that I didn’t really fail at love because I have known love in so many forms and most importantly because I have her and her brother who both came from a place of love and I know what love can be. I haven't failed at love because I have been loved and have loved. I haven't failed at love because I have learned to love myself more and more these days. 

I don't ever want her to apologize for knowing what she wants and being strong-willed. I want her to know that she can have what she wants, not only because she's stubborn but persistent. My daughter is already becoming this strong independent girl, I want to fuel all of these feelings constantly.

I want her to know that "failing" at love is also acceptable. No one is perfect. It's not required and life goes on. 

I am going to tell my Daughter that love is within her and that even when you don't have anyone to love, life goes on because loving ourselves is always the best option. I want to tell her that love is amazing and she should strive to be the most loving even in the absence of love from the outside world.   

I want to tell her that she is love and that I love her.... that's what I will tell her about love... 

She is writing her own love story and that's all that matters. 

::Women in Leadership::

Being a Woman is serious business these days. The expectations and "bar" have been raised more than ever before. We have to be strong for our families and relationships. We have to be bad-ass examples for the women around us. We have to be inspirational and amazing as the women before us. We have to be sensitive but assertive. We are criticized for everything and every scrutiny is visible. We have to be humble and let things go. And, we have to be stone cold and easy going.  Once you become a leader there are constant check-list of goals that we need to achieve and do to be successful. And, guess what you are human too. You get tired, your feelings get hurt and you become overwhelmed. Find women who "have it all together" but really don't. Is so refreshing to me.  Knowing that I am not the only one who fails at life daily, and who doesn't always win, because we are human and "stuff" happens. That's where my motivation comes from and where real success happens. 

I attend many conferences and event that recognize and present awards to local women in leadership who have changed the face of their industry or paved the way for women within industries that are sometimes "male-dominated".  Their stories are always encouraging and definitely add value, life and energy to the other women in the room. They share the struggles they had to overcome, never giving up and moving forward in spite of the dispositions. As women, they pushed through their circumstances and constantly have risen above the nay-sayers. None of them ever suggest that their success has come easy. Surely we can learn from their examples but I don't think they are ever expecting to be one day recognized for simply doing their jobs and working towards success. The women are always humble and so deserving of the recognition and accolades to their accomplishments.

One of the speakers I remember is Dr. Virginia Parras (not pictured here) from a Women's event with Ford last year; she spoke about growing up with a father, "who thought the woman's place was in the home... except for her...she'd be different." The recollection of her experiences though they have come with many obstacles were lighthearted and filled with bravery. She stood up for herself, overcame a "man's world" in my areas of her life and obtained a higher education along the way.  She told a story about her first experience in the US as a young trick-or-treater scared to ring on the doorbells of strangers home to collect candy. What would happen? What would she achieve? Once she did it the first time and received candy, and then another and another, she realized; one, America isn't so bad and two simply "ring the bell" to reveal what's on the other side. It became the motto of her life. As women, we should simply "ring the bell", take the risks and leap forward!

If we just seek out that opportunity awaiting us on the other side, we might just reveal the talents we have within. 

Virginia rang many bells and figured out her true strengths, value and talents she held with every new door that opened. Her story is a motivating one for young career driven women who just want to reach their goals an potentials.  Along the way she faced many adversaries as most Latina women do, but she knew that regardless of what anyone thought, she had already crossed the threshold of so many doors, that nothing could stop her.

While following the footsteps of great women like Virginia can be intimidating we should use that energy to seek our strength and propel forward in the most unimaginable ways!

The generations to come are waiting for us. 

Let's be women of courage and bravery so that leadership can excel amongst us!

::10 ways to Create a Positive, Engaging Social Media Tribe::

As someone who has been in the social media/blogging industry for over 10 years now, I've seen many groups come and go. I've had many relationships come and go. I've learned a lot from every experience and instance. And, like with life, you cannot allow these experiences to define who you are and what your goals should be. Maintaining a positive and engaged social media tribe has a lot to do with being consistent, knowing that you will fail but getting yourself right back up again and moving forward. 

1) Connect offline-  It's all fun and games until you have to meet in person. It can be a scary thing but honestly most relationships no matter how much you feel you know someone, only grow when you meet them in person. Being virtual friends can be amazing and you might not be able to meet everyone in person, but some of our strongest bonds are created when we can connect offline and talk about something other than social media and blogging.

2) Reciprocate- If people follow you, follow them back. If people like your posts, like their posts back. If people share your content, share theirs as well. Its common sense and common courtesy. You would think that right? But, that's not always the case. What do I say, do it anyway! If people can't or don't see that you are being a supporter of their work then you don't have to be "friends" but you shouldn't do these things if you aren't truly genuine about it. I've over the years learned to share everyone's content. Especially those who support me. It's become more of a takers'land than a giver... become a giver.  Especially if people have good content. 

3) Reach out and Be Yourself- It's so easy to get caught up in who you want to be online versus who you really are. Who you are online should reflect your brand but your brand should be true to who you are. It's hard and things can get complicated. Just know that no one is perfect and we are all trying to make things work. As they say, everyone is losing their shit, just some people hide it better than others. This is funny but true. No matter how well put-together someone may appear on social media, we don't know what others are going through. Be yourself, be kind and reach out to see how people are doing. 

4) Be positive but Real- It's not easy to share happy positive posts every day. And, let's be honest, some days are crap and we don't feel happy or positive. Post on days when things are good and post on days when things are bad, but post the positive, light-hearted, problem-solving side of it. And, not just the problem. Trust me I go on rants all the time and keep it as real as it comes, but most people don't want to always hear the bad side of your story. I like knowing that yes, it's a bad day but I made it through. Or, yes, something not-so-fun happened today but guess what, I survived. If you can put a good, positive spin on posts it's always better. 

5) Encourage each other- This is highly important,  as you never know what others are going through or how your words may impact them. When I started blogging I was a new momma suffering from pregnancy and post-partum depression. The more I shared my feelings, thoughts, and words, the more I realized that there were so many of us out there and that we weren't telling each other about it all. This helped me seek professional help and get through some of the toughest moments of motherhood. All it took was a few other moms telling me I could do it! So, share the encouraging posts and words, someone out there needs it. 

6) Help one another- We all started at zero.  That alone should be your motivation to help others. So, once you have some knowledge why not help one another? It's a simple notion that sometimes many don't (can't?) grasp. I understand that you, we, have all worked hard to be where we are. I get it, no one helped you. But, honestly, what goes around comes around. Whether you believe it or not, being a decent person pays off. Supporting each other climb those mountains and look over into the horizon, should be the norm. Just help each other out.  

7) Be genuine and know that not everyone is meant to connect with you- I've been blogging since 2008, since then I have met, hundreds of people, only a handful have become my true friends. And, that's OK. We are meant to meet these people, connect at some level, or not and then allow life to take its course. Be yourself, and yes the rest will follow. Being yourself involves, knowing who you are. Because when those connections "don't stick" you have to remember that like with many other "careers" or jobs, some people are just passing through. And, working with difficult people is inevitable. But, when you work hard and are genuine in your intentions, there is no need to stress about who comes and goes. Know yourself and be happy with those people who come into your path, and/or leave it. 

8) Seek like-minded women- Know that not everyone will have the same interest as you. So, things do go better when you actually seek out those women who are truly like you or like-minded. Not saying to be "cliquey" or ONLY stick to a certain group. You should expand your network every 3 months or so, but always seeking people in your niche, who you have traits in common with. I am a Latina Mom of two, a blogger with a college degree from the University of Houston, who works outside the home and knows Corporate America fairly well. I tend to gravitate towards women who are very similar to me. I also love working out, going to Target and drinking tea. So, the more I know who I am the better my network is. 

9) Create Shareable Content- If you want your tribe to share your content, create shareable content. Know your audience. If you know most women in your tribe work outside the home, or not of a certain faith, or maybe don't have children, then you want to share items that they can relate to and feel compelled to share. And, vice-versa, if you know your audience is mostly moms who are of a certain faith and work from home, then your content should be geared towards them. Or if your audience speaks mostly Spanish, then share items in Spanish, maybe not every post, but every so often. Most of us love to share memes and items we think are funny or great, but when it comes to growing your tribe you need to think about your audience and what they would like to see and read. 

10) Don't take anything personal- Easier said than done.  As I stated earlier, not everyone is meant to connect. You will not always agree with people and their posts or point of view. Remember that if you are using your social media as a business then you don't want to take anything personally. You don't know what others are going through or what their views are, don't worry if people don't follow you, or share your content or support you. We are all different. Again, we are humans, right? This is easier said than done. But, don't be discouraged and keep moving forward. People will always have an opinion and they can think what they want, you continue to do what you do because someone out there is wanting to read it.

::38 Birthday Wishes::

Every year I try to do something on social media or my blog for my birthday month.... this month, this year, this life have been hectic... but I wrote out a list of 38 birthday wishes.....

For my 38th year of life, I wish the following...

1. "Blessings for the best, most in alignment year of life to date." (SO MUCH YES!)
2. I wish to pick up my Bible more times this year than ever before. 
3. I wish for my children to be safe, protected, and healthy. 
4. I wish to be more organized and present as a human being. 
5. I wish to be a more attentive and responsive as a woman to myself. 
6. To continue to surround myself with women, and people who are in similar seasons and have similar goals.  
7. To be a blessing to others. 
8.  I wish to grow more this new year of life- Emotionally, Spiritually, Mentally and in Strength.
9. I am wishing for a new renewed sense of self and self-awareness so that I can continuously admit to my mistakes and correct my actions. 
10. To learn a new skill that will allow me to grow professionally. 
11. To receive and accept all the new blessings coming in my life. 
12. To live abundantly in all the things that I need to survive, especially in love. 
13. I want to wish for further peace; inner and around me. 
14. I wish to pick-up new mediation habits. 
15. I wish to be ever present for those people who truly need me. 
16. To be happy and smile no matter what comes my way. 
17. To bring peace and joy to others. 
18. I wish to be strong and uplifting in the hard times. 
19. I wish to stop complaining about the things, I know I can't change, and take more action. 
20. I wish for a very healthy year. 
21. I wish to bring out the best in others and allow them to fulfill their fullest potential! 
22. To travel more. 
23. To truly and purposefully rest. 
24. To finish reading all the books I've started. 
25. I wish to start doing yoga again and try hot yoga. 
26. I wish to further recognize the people who have truly made a difference in my life. 
27. To continue to eat better and take care of ME. 
28. To take more times out of my day to breathe and reflect and truly be thankful for where I am. 
29. To advance in my career and be at peace with my career choices and path. 
30. I want to set bigger goals and new action items for myself. (Can you say America Ninja Warrior, MAYBE.) 
31. I wish to continue to reach my goals and dream BIGGER every day. 
32. I wish to build a strong community around me who are growing and successful so that I can grow and succeed with them. 
33. I wish to do more volunteer work this year. 
34. I wish to spend more time with friends. Especially friends who I have not seen in a while. 
35. I wish to be better at managing my money. 
36. I wish to turn my passion into my biggest asset. 
37. I wish to find myself and happiness at the same intersection. 
38. I wish to re-create who I am and thrive..... 
    

This is 38 ya'll!