Lately it seems like babies are amongst us... a lot. Or at least on the brain or on FB somewhere....everywhere. Ha.
And yes, when my Hubby and I got married we said we would have 3 kids, because it would be a good well rounded number...right.
Then, I had ONE and thought... one is ok but DOS would be peachy and then I had my numero dos and now all I know is that if I EVER {ever} want to go to the restroom alone without having two kids {or more} camp out in front of me {yes, camp out, yesterday Cami pulled her fold out chair in there with her sippy and snacks, she said; "MA'!, caca?".... no words I tell you...no words!} or maybe if one day I decide that sleeping with two {or more kids} swirling around in my bed and asking for milk at 1am, 3am and 4 am cause they can't sleep while I am tying to get a good nights rest for my 4am wake up call and 12 plus hour shift at work the next day is a good idea then maybe a tres is totally in order.
My Hubby is telling me that we will be ok but I am tired, drained and in a constant state of "uhm". I don't remember what's what or know my foot from my hand most days. Physically, I know I can push my body through another gruelling 9 months and then be sliced and diced without any issues....but honestly. Mentally and emotionally. I am not sure I am fully equipped at this moment. IF, if , IF it were to happen some time by the end of the year that means that I would be 32 before I have the baby and that means that at 32 I would be juggling a 12 hour a day {plus} job {during election cycle}, a house with a Hubby who may or may not be traveling for his new job on and off, the Tres {a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a baby; doable? Sure.} but what about the crafting and blogging, oh yes then there are showers and maybe if I am lucky some eating... and oh did we forget extra curriculars; cause we want Santi in soccer and Cami in dancing by this fall. Did I mention the pet rock? Yes, we have managed to kill 2 fish in the las 3 months therefore we have decided a pet rock is a bit more sustainable. And, has anyone been calculating the amount of money this will all cost us; I am not but my Hubby I know is, considering HE is the one asking for a third baby!
Aside from just physically having them, emotion and mental stability, and financial stability have we thought about time and attention to be divided even more and sacrificed a hundred times over.... I have. I don't know. It just doesn't seem fair to the kids or myself, to wear myself so thin that I am already worried about not having time for a third baby.
I say we are good. My Hubby says... we not good enough.
I will definitely be praying about this one. A lot.
I do have a pending discussion with my OBGYN to see if she would even have me as her patient considering all of the reproductive issues I have had. Just so much at once and during an election cycle to even begin to think about it or wrap my brain around it....
God will know.
Only Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment