{Kim} ♥

{Momma Love Series}

Today's Momma Guest Blogger is one of those friends, who left my life long ago, 

but through the world wide web, social networks, 

 and by the Grace of God,
she is once more in my life. 

Dios sabe lo que hace. 

We all have to live out our life's purpose 

and know that God is in control. 

This Blog has given me so much insight into her life. 

I was in her life when she had her 4 children but
I would have NEVER guessed that this was her story. 

I hope that she will not only inspire you, motive you and move you 

but that you can Love her much more for being so honest and willing to share her story with us. 

Kim. 

You are a true Woman of strength, courage and Faith. 

I admire you and your efforts to create a fulfilling environment 

not only for you but your children as well.

{Guest Blogger}

Hi. My name is Kimberly Ragan I am 31 years of age. I am a Personnel Coordinator for the company Fiesta and have worked here for almost 6 yrs now. Being a mama of four is a challenge a very complicated challenge. My life changed when I was 17 yrs of age....

When I had my son Luis, this little boy just did not want to be born, and now as the years past he still shows his stubbornness lol. Two weeks after his due date my doctor induced my labor. This was on a Monday at 6:00 am, being induced to provoke contractions are the most painful contractions I have ever felt. I still remember  the nurse coming in and asking me for the last time if I wanted the epidural and I could no longer say no and gave in. (worst mistake I ever made). My son was born Jan. 5th 1998@ 2:03pm weighing 7lbs and 15 oz and 21 1/4 inches long. With the birth of my son all the struggles I was going through and all the questions to myself of "Why Kim why?" just didn't matter anymore. I had just given birth to the most precious, kind heart-ed, big baby and I was so blessed.

Years past and while I was enjoying my son very much, with the getting him dressed up and showing him off and buying all these things for him, yet I was just not happy with my marriage and I felt incomplete. So I thought that by having another baby my life would be better....NOT! Well though my first son was not planned I intentionally got pregnant without consulting my ex. Four years later on Feb 17th 2002 (this was on a Sunday) I awoke feeling sad and depressed. So I got into the shower thinking a nice hot bath will help but it didn't . I immediately started to feel pain in my abdominal area, so I rushed to the hospital where my ex just dumps me off and goes back home to sleep off his drunkenness. So I called my sister, and doctor to come meet me but neither of them came. So practically I had my son on my own, and the poor doctor that helped me. I say poor because I screamed so badly when I pushed, I could feel every contraction and the tearing apart and even the stitching. My son Brandon was born @12:30 pm weighing 6lbs and 8 oz and 20 inches long. This day was the start of the woman I was becoming, not being dumb anymore and not letting my feelings get hurt so easily kind of woman. My little Brandon got the worst of this mama, because his daddy did not want him throughout my pregnancy and I suffered way too much because of it and took it out on him. Brandon crawled at 3 months and walked at 6 months that just shows you how bright my baby is.

I guess  God knew his intentions when I got pregnant again when my Brandon was only a year old. Let me tell  you this pregnancy was not wanted at all, under the circumstances of which I was living in NO! At two months pregnant I decided to have an abortion and my sister loaned me the money and made my appointment. Everyone convinced me not to do it and I am so glad that i didn't go through with it! When I went to go do my ultrasound my doctor said that she thought she saw two babies and then confirmed it, I burst into tears and my sister told me it's ok Kim we will all help you through this. I told the doctor please tell me that at least one of those babies is a girl, and sure enough it was! I was filled with happiness and thanked God for sending me her with a little extra gift, 5 months later my son Dillon and my daughter Yasmin where born on 11/20/2003, weighing 5lbs 6oz and 5lbs 5oz.

It was very difficult to raise my babies because it was actually like having triplets, Brandon was not even TWO! But I did it and I breast fed like I did my others for up to a year. I had my days when I would leave the room and go to the other and scream and cry and then come back in like nothing happened. I can tell you that I not regret any of those days because today being the woman that I am, I am very proud of myself. I have been with my four children on my own since my twins were 1 year and a half and we are together happy and safe. My son Luis who i adore is such a big help to me and I'm so grateful that God put him in my life.

So this is me, a mama of cuatro!!!!